Monday, March 1, 2010

my dad

I miss my Dad sooooo much. This was his blog. I subscribe to it and probably read it every other day. It's almost like he's not gone when I read it. It's a stamp in time where Dad was himself, and it's all in his words. My Dad did work in Afghanistan for awhile and my Step-Mom got him to do a blog for all of us to read.

This whole blogging thing was really an entertainment for my Dad. He would read all of our blogs. My Step-Mom's, my sister's, my aunt's, and mine. For a while there, it was something I would do just for him. If any of us didn't update for awhile, he was real quick to send us an email. But now that my Dad's gone, I feel oddly strange when I write my posts. I have no one in particular to direct my posts towards. I'm desperate for my Dad to see how my life is. I look at my blog and I can see that so much has changed and I hate the fact that my Dad has no idea. I wish I believed in the whole, "He's watching down on us" thing. It is comforting, but I know not real. Cancer really sucks.


I know this is a strange picture to post. I really like it though. It's so normal and candid and something that is familiar. I want my Dad back so badly. I have so much heartache and I feel lame even typing this. I love my Dad.

2 comments:

  1. Ohhh honey! I am so sorry! (big hug!) He seems like a great guy! Don't ever feel lame.. never ever! :) I'm really enjoying getting to know you! Keep posting your true emotions!

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  2. I miss him too. You know, he was the reason I started blogging again after my dry spell when Grandma died. I wanted to make him happy. Even though he isn't here to read what I write any more, part of me writes because I know it made him happy.

    And you're right... cancer sucks.

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