Friday, May 7, 2010

Mother's day

I am feeling like an unappreciated mother. Yes, a stereotypical pissed off broad who has a lazy husband and no help.  I'm sure a lot of you feel like this from time to time. Well, this is one of those times for me. I'm just sorta sick of doing EVERYTHING around here. I clean (while holding Wyatt), I do the dishes (while holding Wyatt), I make dinner (while holding Wyatt), I do the laundry (while holding Wyatt), I grocery shop (while holding/toting around Wyatt), and then of course, I also TAKE CARE OF WYATT. Josh tells me that he would love to sit home all day and do nothing and watch Wyatt. Even when I get a chance to do nothing, I actually have to do something. I can't even get him to watch him while I get ready on the weekends. As soon as I'm out of the shower, Wyatt is placed on the floor by my feet. Isn't that ridiculous? 

Right now Wyatt is napping and I'm neglecting my "duties" and blogging. Now, don't misunderstand me. Josh doesn't care in the slightest if he lives in a clean house, or if dinner is done. He'd just go out and get something. So it's not like he's making me do these things. I do them because it needs to be done. But since it's not a priority to him, he doesn't recognize it as something that should be praised. It still pisses me off and hurts my feelings though. And every time I bitch about any of this, I'm made to feel guilty because he's the serviceman. Look, I know you're in the military... okay, big whoop. I'm pretty sure a lot of servicemen have to take care of their kids and work too. Shit, if I were working right now I'd have to do all of the things I do now and more. 

Yes, Josh loves his son and would do anything for him. But no, he's not the primary caretaker. And it's acceptable that he's not because he is working. I know that. But I feel like if I'm in the bathroom and Wyatt is screaming bloody murder on the floor, then you should just press pause on your game and hold him till I get back at least. Isn't that understandable? Am I totally crazy for thinking that he should step up in that way?

I do love my husband. I feel guilty laying it all out there. I'm just so irritated. And Mother's day is in a few days. Big freakin' deal. Who cares? I saw the best episode of The Middle last night. 

Isn't that so true?


  1. omg!!! men are like that... yesterday I got home after 14 hours shift and I had to do dishes that have been sitting there for 2 days. while my bf got home 5 hours before, however, playing games is way more important. He asked me why do thhose few dishes bother me? is he damn serious???!!!

  2. I Feel your pain lady, and I am not even married.. but as much as BD is an INCREDIBLE father... when we visit.. I am the one that wakes up with Adiyn. I'm the one who wakes up wit him, gets him dressed, changes his diapers, etc... REALLY! I have him 100% of the time. When we visit, his ass should be getting up with him!

    MEN! lol

  3. Finally I just got in Levi's face...and I yelled you don't appreciate the shit I do for this family!!! I think he got scared at what might happen..and he's definitely changed his ways. It's not always easy...I still get upset, but I know he's working on it. I really hate that Josh had that attitude...I think we both know that our men could not be stay at home dads. He's about to leave...can he not understand that you WILL be alone for 6 months straight? Oye...Im really sorry and I hope it all changes sooner than later. Im right there with you..and only a phone call away!

  4. Ugh--I felt like I was reading a desription of my own life===I tell my husband to hold our kid while I do something, or heaven forbid have a break and he plays with her for 5 friggin' minutes and walks away to go doing something--we won't even talk about how he let her fall of a 4 ft bed and bust her face open!

  5. Josh is a good man, just like Dave. But he's new to this too and since he's not always there it makes it harder for him to see the things you do & truly appreciate it. I cried many of days over this - but then we talked and I realized that it's not that he's not trying or wanting to be a part of things, he just didn't know how. Once I stopped nursing, things got better. Still- I go out while the kids are sleeping to run errands or I might take one with me but it does get better. Remember- they are men and they are not programed liked us. We had 9 months to get use to the idea and they were truly lost during that whole time while we were bonding with our child. I still have to point things out to my husband and yes, I still feel like all the "chores" I do are overlooked- but I stopped doing them for him, I do it for me because it's how I want things done and then bitch at him for not following suit. Bottom line- you love him & he loves you, everything else will work itself out - soon enough. And if nothing else - hide the damn video games.

  6. We all go through this. Men just don't have the gene that tells them to get off their ass and come help you. Wait til you have another one. It gets about 10 times worse!!! :) Don't be afraid to ask for help....sometimes men need to be reminded to get off the couch!

  7. My husband and I have had a lot of "discussions" about this.
    Like any disagreement/misunderstanding, I'm learning that above all else, it's not *all* about the words you say, but how you say them.
    Women have a tendency to address their man disrespectfully when they're upset and men have a tendency to come across to their woman as unloving. Someone termed it the "crazy cycle." And the issue at hand (sharing of parental responsibilities) won't even get addressed as long as you're just hurting each other.
    I don't know if this is applicable to you, but it definitely plays a big part in me and my husbands arguments. And I never would have seen it if not for "Love & Respect"-- an amazing book we read (partially) after a couple years of being married. HIGHLY RECOMMEND!
    But anyway, as far as the actual dual-parenting goes, I think the main thing I always hear from Levi is: BE EXTREMELY CLEAR about what you want/expect of him. For instance, if I want help putting the kids to bed, I absolutely have to ask, point beating around the bush or "suggestions" I just have to say, "Would you help me put the kids down?" or better yet, "Would you help me put the kids down at 8? Could you brush their teeth and do stories and I'll take it from there?"
    We are very much still in the midst of hashing it out and with a 3rd babe on the way I'm sure it will become much more in need of "hashing." :-)
    But let me just say-- this is not an issue you can sweep under the rug and then let surface for a few angry minutes! ESPECIALLY if you have more kids, you will either turn into an angry, resentful mother who controls everything b/c she has to do it alone OR you'll figure out a healthy balance with your hubs. There is absolutely NO reason that anyone shouldn't go to counseling for a while to figure it out if need be. It's our kids lives we're talking about, and the environment that they grow up in-- the interactions they see between mommy & daddy are so crucial!!


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...