Wednesday, July 7, 2010

I've been feeling a very un-easy pressure lately to stop night time nursings. My husband wants to start putting Wyatt in his own bed when he comes back from deployment (which is around December/January). He's decided that he's going to do ALL the work since it's already been established that I am NOT strong enough to overcome Wyatt's screams. So on his free time he's been researching all the different ways to get your kid to sleep through the night.... ALONE. Oh god. I'm getting sick thinking about it. I've been really nervous about this move to his own bed, and it's so weird. So I thought that maybe if I could eliminate the night feedings now then the process of putting him in his own bed in the next 5 months might be easier. I don't know. This has literally overcome my thoughts and feelings. I can't believe I'm so worried sick about all of this. I'm kinda feeling resentful towards Josh for making me and Wyatt do this. I know THAT'S stupid, but I just wish I could let things happen naturally... but for some reason this is really important for Josh.

Ah, life. Oh well.

Here. Look at this picture.

19 comments:

  1. if you dont feel ready then dont do it. i get a lot of pressure to stop breastfeeding so much and to move H out of our bed but I figure we only get this time once ya know? Im in no rush to move on as far as the cosleeping/boobfeeding goes.I get a lot of crap about how he is too dependent on me and how im creating a "mamas boy" which is so annoying.

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  2. oh man jess, i feel you on this one. although we don't co-sleep, moving henry from our room to his own was really hard for me as you probably remember. people told me it would get easier and i didn't really believe them. then after a week or so everything was fine and i even slept with the baby monitor on 1 instead of volume 5! i miss having him there in our room but since he's moved out my husband and i have a lot more time together since we aren't tiptoeing around a sleeping baby, it's awesome.

    i've been trying to eliminate the night feedings, it's hard. i bet having him in his own room will make that easier for you so maybe you should keep nursing him until josh gets back. it might be harder for him to understand why he can't eat when his meal is right in front of him all night....

    we're in the same boat on a lot of this, let me know if you want to talk about it. chances are i'll have a load of questions for you too!

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  3. You need to do whatever makes you comfortable. What you think is best for Wyatt.

    Since I do not have a husband, it makes co-sleeping with Aidyn easier.Never the less I know Aidyn needs to start sleeping alone as well. Its just so hard. So I get your struggle. Breastfeeding was hard to stop as well. It was such an awesome experience.

    Just remember to follow your heart. :) It seems like a pretty good one, it wont lead you astray!

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  4. I love your hair.

    Good luck with the separation. Once you get through the rough patch, it'll be smooth sailing from there. I promise.

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  5. Do you sleep with him in the same bed or just the same room? Don't make the choice to night wean if it's making yourself sick, IMO. It's affecting you so much for a reason! But if he does sleep in your bed, perhaps you could put something (pack and play maybe) next to the bed, and start putting him in there when he falls alseep, getting him used to sleeping in a different space as you, even if you are still next to him. When that's down, you could start putting the bed-thing further from your bed, slowly. We do that with Killian a lot of the time (well, not moving him away yet), at least for the first half of the night, then he sleeps with me the second half (i pick him up and bring him into bed in my sleep, I don't even wake up for it so I can't put him back in there when he's done eating, lol).

    Good luck! Follow your gut! You have 5 months, there is no need to rush things and make yourself upset/uncomfortable!

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  6. so funny i should be reading this post now. i was totally thinking about you and co-sleeping when i was going to bed last night. i thought about how natural it is for you to sleep with Wyatt because Josh is away. it only makes sense!
    i'm a believer in babies needing their own space, so i'm all for them sleeping in their own cribs.
    i know it's hard....
    i was just listening to some doctor talk about how babies 6-9 months shouldn't have anymore night feedings because they need to learn a different way to go back to sleep. and also as they start getting teeth, there is sugar in both breast milk and formula and it's not good for them. (whatever)
    i've been thinking about taking night feedings away from Lily. but it's hard!!!!

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  7. You know before my Hellers was born I was so excited and went right out and fixed up a sweet crib for her. She hated it. Her (now 9 year old) brother LOVED his as a baby. My crib sat there for 12 months. I just took it apart. I put the crib mattress on the floor next to the bed to get her used to the idea and incorporate it into naptimes or to transfer her there once she is good and sleeping. You just have to keep the bedroom cleaned up and the door closed. I'm no expert, but that's what I'm doing, and I feel your pain. I don't know that crying it out is the best idea.. I think that is great for tantrums, but not emotional needs.. listen to your gut (: You are doing GREAT!

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  8. i hated giving up cosleeping. it felt so so loney. (it he still ate all night anyway even at 7 months.) i hate forcing something on them they arent ready for. if they are hungry, they are hungry. you know how it feels to be on a diet and you cant eat until a certain time. torture! lol
    on the other hand, im sure your husband wants you all to himself when he comes home. so its the constant battle mothers and wives face of trying to please everyone.
    i dont have any advice bc you know youll have to work it out between yourselves, but i just wanted to give out some support.
    xo

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  9. I agree with Adriana. He is only 9 months old! You do what feels right, and make your huz see that!

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  10. What about getting him used to bottled breastmilk before naps and bedtime?

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  11. im sorry you're having to go thru this. i like allie's idea though to wait until josh is home. wyatt wont understand why the jugs are RIGHT THERE and he cant have any. and it sucks because i feel like its either cio or nothing. cant their just be something easier in between?!
    the best thing for wyatt will be for you to be consistent with whatever you choose.

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  12. That's an adorable picture! Hopefully you can figure out something. I'd give advice, but I have no experienced yet lol.

    http://velvetbirds.blogspot.com

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  13. thanks guys, i really appreciate all of your input. i decided that i'm just not going to think about stopping night time nursings until he's at least a year (when i plan on starting to wean). josh won't be back until wyatt is at least 15 months so that gives me a few months to handle that. i'm personally just not ready (and neither is wyatt) to stop the night time feedings, even if they're mostly for comfort for him).

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  14. Oh, look at all the good advice! We're thinking of moving Ruari to her room too. It's SO hard and scary. :( I agree with everyone. Do what feels right mama.

    And, tell Wyatt that Ruari says she thinks he needs a prince hat too. So, I'll start making some.

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  15. you and your baby are adorable!! I love your blog and I am so glad I ran across it!

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  16. oh.. I feel you on this one - my head is in the same worried place. We had been trying to get pregnant for almost 2 years and kind of gave up - signed a lease on a tiny (cheap) one bedroom apartment and splurged on a vacation. And 2 months later - we were pregnant. Our daughter - though in her crib 70% of the time (the rest in bed with us) - has slept within arms length.

    We are (crossing fingers on a nice and easy closing) moving in less than a month. Our daughter will have her own room, but I don't think we are ready to sleep with her down the hall. I think the husband is excited - I am not.

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  17. nessa, our husbands are dirty perverted men. that's what i think it comes down to. :)

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  18. I don't have a child, but I was reading all these comments and thinking about your situation and thought, if you keep doing what you are doing and let Wyatt sleep with you until your husband gets back, do you think Wyatt will associate this unwanted change with his Dad?

    Resentment on your half may creep in too?

    My Dad was in the army for a huge amount of my childhood and I'm aware of the change in routines that occur. Just a thought. How about just Naps in his own bed at first?

    This is a comment in the best of interests, just what I'm thinking as I read this entry.. :)

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