Monday, August 2, 2010

The Ferber Method

How many of you used this method?

I started it last night (didn't do so well), and I just used it for Wyatt's nap today. He's been asleep for the past two hours. I need some encouragement! It's hard doing this completely on your own.

Did any of you guys have success?

I am tweaking it a bit. He's sleeping in my room still, as opposed to my bed. I'm not ready for him to be in his own room yet. 

And I have picked him up a few times instead of just patting him on the back and walking out of the room shortly after. I figure he'll just get sick of being picked up and put back down a million times that he'll get the picture.

How did you guys get your kid's to sleep through the night? Oh, let me just mention that Wyatt has never slept on his own for longer than 2-3 hours. EVER. Not once. EVER. So, if he does ever sleep through the night, I think I might go running through the streets naked. That's how psyched I'd be.

Oh, and just a little FYI, in case you all were wondering..

  • He's still breastfed
  • He hates the bottle
  • He doesn't take pacifiers anymore
  • He uses nursing as a form of comfort and that's how I normally calm him. It works for every situation.
  • Before I started this Ferberizing thing, we co-slept and he permanently nursed all night. I sleep with my boob in his mouth ALL NIGHT LONG.


  1. get Wyatt a security object to hold instead having your boob in his mouth. Hopefully he can slowly transition from you to a blankie or stuffed animal or something. Hang in there!


    That was on babycenter today. I don't know if it helps but shows a baby screaming and the parents had to give up at least we know we're not alone!

  3. :( I am going through the same thing (or about to, anyway). I have been realizing lately that OMFG my baby is becoming a SPOLIED BRAT, and I am doing nothing to help him overcome this. He won't take a paci now and only falls asleep if my boob is in his mouth. Like I have to pull it out and let him grab it about five-seven times before he's asleep enough to stop air fish-mouthing for it. I can't wait to read the advice you get...I'm seriously loosing my mind over here (as I'm sure you are...)

  4. i've never used the ferber method so i don't know how well it works. austin has been attachment parented since he was born. he's just like wyatt in the sense that he likes to nurse for comfort and sleeps with us and all that jazz. austin still sometimes has issues sleeping by himself for long periods of time, but what works for us is this:

    bathtime, nurse and rocked to sleep, lay him in his bed. he'll probably sleep there for a few hours by himself and then when he wakes up i'll bring him into our bed. he can still nap by himself too.

    we just don't use any method that makes him cry or be "alone". it's just so painful for me. lol. i'm a big baby. i hope that helps a bit.

  5. Hey, we have a nurse to sleep/comfort/everything baby here too. We aren't doing CIO but we are using some methods from the No-Cry Sleep Solution and I did a lot of reading from the Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child book too. I wrote a few post about it a while back and gave a (pretty) detailed rundown of what we do (it does involve some fussing/crying) but never for for than a few minutes. Good old is W? Nolie is 8 months and it feel like she will never sleep through the night...ever ever. But she will go 5 hours now (sometimes) and that feels like a win.

  6. okay, i just sounded like a crappy mom...totally. h is becoming a spoiled brat in many different ways, i'm not really referring to the fact that he needs me to fall asleep as being "spoiled". part of me finds that pretty sweet still, it's just hard when you feel like it's alwayyyyyyyssss going to be like know?

  7. Everyone kept warning me early on to stop rocking him to sleep, nursing him to sleep, and having him sleep in bed with me. They kept telling me horror stories about their kids, and how it took them forever to teach them how to sleep longer than 3 hours during the night. So, my husband and I got pretty strict about it and finally started a routine at night for Josiah: around 10pm - bathtime, diaper and feed, place in bed awake with night light, pacifier and music. start off letting him cry for 5 minutes, then 15, then 30... everytime you go in to check on him, do not pick him up, just rub his head or back and whisper/shush for no longer than 5 minutes. then leave.

    this only took us a day or two, and then josiah was sleeping through the night on his own. he usually sleeps between 10pm and 7am now! Good Luck!!!

  8. My daughter is 2 and she still sleeps with us. She can nap by herself but she doesn't have her own room. That's the main reason she still sleeps with us, is lack of room. I'm pregnant and with baby number 2, she's going to sleep in the bed with us so I can nurse her at night, and Rosslyn (my 2 year old) will be moved to a toddler bed right next to ours. And then maybe when they're older, they'll share a room. I'm just not ready to have my kids sleep so far away from me. I guess it's kind of a comfort for me because when Rosslyn was born, my husband was deployed and it made me feel closer to him if she was sleeping in the bed with me.

  9. we use the ferber method at night, and it's worked great. it took about a week or two for him to get used to the idea that we weren't going to pick him up or bring him to bed with us. but it does work! after about 3 weeks of using it, i can now lay bennett down awake and he will soothe himself to sleep after about 10-15 minutes. but only at night. during the day, it doesn't work at all. he will scream his head off for 30 minutes straight.
    does he like his car seat? unfortunately that is one of the only ways my 6 month old will fall asleep during the day. if he's clearly tired, i can plop him in his car seat and rock him for 10 min or so and he'll fall asleep. then i can transfer him to the bed.
    i don't know when/if i will be willing to try this method during the day again because i can't take it when it's just me home with the babe.
    if anyone else gives good advise for naps, i would love it!

  10. i am not wise at this at all but i find that during the night what works with Lily is to just let her be. let her fuss a bit on her own when she wakes. the past 2 nights she has fallen back asleep by herself. yay.

    also, last night she slept in her own room here in WV for the first time. i had total separation anxiety. it was the first time Will and i slept without her in our room since she was born.

    the one thing that works is consistency so, keep at it.
    good luck!

  11. I would give him a comfort object thats what I had to do with my son . I went threw the same thing you are going threw. I picked him up the first couple of nights until i realized it wasnt working :( Then I had to learn to just let him cry and it worked after about a week. I will admit i cried the first couple of nights because it was so hard but well worth it. My son is 18 months old now and just started sleeping in his own room a month ago but has been sleeping threw the night since he turned 1 :) Good Luck!!!!

  12. Oh man. Ruari has started crying, I mean screaming, and kicking her legs. What?!! She screams before every nap. Wears me out. I've tried this method. I can't tell if things are changing.

  13. I just barely went through this. I waited until Asia was a year old, she co-slept before that. It took her an entire MONTH to start sleeping through the night. At first I would go in and pat her, but it only made her scream harder. I did that for about two weeks and it wasn't getting any better so I realized I had to get serious about it.

    So I came up with a sort of routine... I would wait until she was rubbing her eyes at night, and was very fussy and tired. Then I took her into our bedroom (she still rooms in as well), and turn all the lights off (except a small night light), and I would nurse her for the last time of the night. She would get very sleepy while nursing, once she was done, I would lay her down in her crib and leave the room. I would sit outside the door and listen to make sure she wasn't throwing up or injuring herself.. but honestly, the first night after 15 minutes she was asleep and slept all night. The second night, 10 minutes. And ever since then, the second I put her down, she doesn't even cry, she just lays there and falls asleep.

    I can't tell you how amazing it has been, as she was JUST like your baby and was up all throughout the night. Now that she has learned to self-soothe, she doesn't even wake up! She sleeps from 8 p.m. to 7 a.m. every night! And I get a few hours of peace each night after putting her to bed. Small noises don't wake her up anymore, where before if I even rustled the sheets she was up crying!

    You could try something like what I did.. it may take a couple of weeks but be strong! You and your baby will thank you when you're both getting good sleep! I hope it works out for you! Best of luck! :)


  14. I think it's really good to have the same routine every night. For Asia it usually goes: Bath-time, play-time to let her wear herself out, nursing in the dark, then lay her down. And it works!

    Hope this helps!

  15. I'm in the same boat. Eli nurses all night and we cosleep. With us it's so bad he only naps in my arms. He's asleep in my arms now. It makes me have a LOT of net time but it's hard to type even this much out. I will be curious to see what responses you get.

    I've tried the Ferber method though and so far it hasn't worked one bit for Elijah. I gave up in three days. *sigh*

  16. I sleep with Mom because she feel lonely if I don´t. Not sure if this method will work with her.

  17. OK, I'm no expert but take my advice for what it's worth. My first daughter slept through the night at 7 weeks and never stopped. Literally, has never woken up in the middle of the night and she is almost 2 1/2 years old now. My second daughter started sleeping through the night at 3 months and she is 6 months now and so far so good. They both went to their own rooms at 5 weeks and slept in a crib. I think a crib makes a huge difference. I was just on vacation for 3 weeks and my youngest was in a pack and play and didn't sleep nearly as well. I didn't use any particular method for getting my girls to sleep but I did put them down while they were awake and let them soothe themselves. With my youngest who is 6 months now, when she is really tired she will fight sleep so I have let her cry (but for no more than 5 minutes) and most of the time she will cry it out and go to sleep. I never tried co-sleeping because I know it is really hard to break them of that and we like our bed to ourselves. :) I'm also big on the routine at night....bath, lotion, book, bed. I am a big believer that kids thrive on routine!Good luck...I know it's hard but you can do it!!

  18. So Leo is 20 months old, and has been sleeping with us since day one, he still does. Also, he still nurses. He has gone through many stages as he has grown all of which affect his sleep.
    The best advice I can get is to change one problem first. Start with the constant night nursing and then move him into his own bed. That way its not to overwhelming for the both of you.
    good luck keep us posted!

  19. oh goodness, I'm too embarrassed to even comment. Baby-dear is 14 months and I'm still letting her sleep with us. But look at all these good ideas... I better get crackin.

  20. How funny. Our babies are just a few days apart and I as well am just now doing the Ferber method with mine. We started the night before last, and he fell asleep after 1.5 hours of us going in, soothing him at the intervals, and last night it was 45 mins. Collin coslept with us as well until we started this, and it was really hampering mommy daddy time :) I stopped night nursing him about a month ago... not that he wouldn't continue if I let him, but I as well was sleeping with my boob in his mouth all night long, and that was not good. To stop the night nursing I just flat out stopped, and tried to find another way to soothe him back to sleep. I don't know that I would stop night nursing and ferberize at the same time, the night nursing was not easy to quit doing. I am also in a playgroup and many of the moms in that group have already used this method with great success, and highly recommend it. Now for naps, that is a totally different thing, and I have read that it can take much longer for the nap thing to work this way for some reason. I figure we will tackle one thing and then the next, but what I read about naps was that if you choose to do the ferber method for naps, that you only go for one hour and if they are still awake after that one hour, you pick them up, and come back to it a little later, because really you don't want to spend all day trying to get them to sleep. This link was recommended to me
    and so far I have found it extremely helpful. I want to say that before I was put in this situation I was completely against the ferber method or any form of CIO I am just finding it necessary at this time. I read that it can take 1-2 weeks for extra needy babies, which mine is (I think it's that they are boys, I hear they are needier than girls)If you want I will let you know how it is going or did go at the end of that week or two.

  21. camdyn slept with me until about 2 1/2 months, then left got home from his deployment and refused to have him sleep with us. levi was scared to death he'd roll over on him and kill him. so...we got a really nice soft fleece baby blanket..because the GYN once told me that the placenta feels like that to them..and wow did it work. camdyn carries his blanket with him anytime he's indoors..and he hasn't really slept with us since and its been nice.

  22. Oh my gosh I feel for you! Kingston has never slept through the night till just last month. With the help of my sisters I put him on a routine he has naps at the exact time every day then before I am going to put him down to bed I feed him,bathe him, we rock together, then I give him his blankie and a binky lay him down and say night night and walk out! (killed me the first couple of times) He goes down at 8 sleeps till 6 or 7 the next morning. Don't get me wrong their were tons of trying it out. and him getting up ALL NIGHT LONG.
    But like everyone said go in there pat him on the head then say night night and walk out!

    Its easier said than done but I think a "comfort" object would be good. They have those stuffed animal blankies at walmart which I know kids love try that. Or a soft blankie. Good luck.

  23. I had a hard time letting Lucy go into her own room, but my husband pushed for it when she was around 12 weeks. Luckily, Lucy slept through the night right away. In the beginning we actually had to wake her to feed her! When she started sleeping in her own room, we set a bed time (by the advice of friends)and try to get her into her crib by 9:30. Some nights it may be later, but I make sure to breastfeed her to put her to sleep and then just lay her down with some music and her blankie (little square piece of fabric). We have found recently that she doesn't sleep well unless she is in her crib, naps included. Lucy is 6 months old, so I am sure things could change, but keeping the routine seems to help the most. Good Luck!

  24. My day 3 of the Ferber method looks like this: 30 mins of crying, (since it was day 3 we went in at 15 minute intervals) and then 8 full hours of sleep in a row in his crib without fully waking or needing comforting once :) It was the first good nights sleep I have gotten in 10 months!! YAY!

  25. Oh hey and I ran across this link and thought it was awesome, made me laugh, and I thought you might like it :)

  26. I don't have advice. I am not mama-wise. But I do have encouragement. My little one is almost 3. She STILL sleeps with me. She STILL needs me to go to sleep. She STILL uses me as her #1 source of comfort. She STILL nurses. I never could have imagined that I would be in this situation. I thought I'd BF for about a year. I thought my child would sleep in her crib. I thought things would just work themselves out.
    I am not the kind of mom that can do any sort of cry-it-out method. Ferber or otherwise. I tried it 2 years ago, she cried for 90 minutes straight & that was the end of that. I am not exactly thrilled with my situation, but I accept it. And am not too hard on myself. (some of the time anyway) I know it will all be a distant memory someday that we will laugh about & my daughter will think I'm making it all up.
    We all just do our best. With babies/children there is no right or wrong way. It's just your own way. The BEST thing is to have supportive mommy friends who are non-judgemental & can relate...
    You are an awesome MOM... SO WHAT!!!! ; )


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