Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Ferber review - Night 1

Good morning? How'd my night go? Well, I have mixed reviews.

First of all, I tweaked the Ferber strategy. I didn't feel comfortable NOT nursing Wyatt when he woke up in the middle of night. I'm just not 100% sure he's not hungry or not. I know people say it's mostly comfort, but the kid is literally GULPING down breast milk at night, so I still think he needs it. So with that being said, YES, I did get up every two hours to feed him since that's when he would wake up. :( But I didn't bring him into bed with me, and that's a HUGE deal. I have a tendency to bring him into bed with me and fall asleep; thus he sleeps with me all night.

So here's the run down of the night:


  • Laid him down at 7:50 awake after nursing him for a bit. He cried until 8:20 and I went in and reassured him three different times. He finally fell asleep.
  • Woke up at 9:20 and I nursed him again. I laid him down fully awake and he cried for about 20 minutes, but it wasn't full on scream. He fell asleep around 9:40.
  • I attempted to go to bed but couldn't. I'm so used to sleeping with him.
  • He woke up at 11 pm. Nursed him and laid him down. NO CRYING! As soon as I laid him down I started stroking his face and he immediately fell asleep. (THIS IS INSANE)
  • He woke up again at 1:40 am. Same thing as above. Nursed and then laid him down while stroking his face. Went straight to sleep.
  • Woke up AGAIN at 3:40, which by this time I was an exhausted wreck and was extremely tempted to bring him into bed with me. I did not though (yay me!). I nursed him and laid him back down and he cried for about 10 minutes. So back to sleep by 3:50 am.
  • Awake at 6:45 am and I brought him in bed with me. (I KNOW, I KNOW) I wasn't sure how well I could get him to go back to sleep since it was daylight already. And we woke up together at 8:30 am. SUCK IT FERBER.
So that's my night. I'm tired, but what else is new? I'm just as tired as I would be with him sleeping with me to be honest. I'm not going to eliminate night feedings and do Ferber at the same time. It's way too much at once (for me and for him). So I think I'll do this for awhile and then slowly eliminate a feeding one at a time. I think everyone will be much happier this way.

(Wyatt playing with his toys this morning. He seems in a good mood?)



9 comments:

  1. you are a strong person. let me tell you though, i'm inspired. i'm moving the playpen into the bedroom today!

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  2. That is why I just gave up. It wasn't giving us less sleep than if we sleep together. Maybe in the long run it would be worth it but I've had a lot of friends who coslept and they did manage to get their babies out of the bed by 2 years old. Well, that is a long time and not for everyone but for me Matt will be deployed a year anyway so oh well.

    And if you look at sources like Kellymom for breastfeeding there are people who challenge the idea that a child isn't hungry or thirsty in the middle of the night. I get thirsty in the middle of the night that is why I keep a bottle of water by my bedside.

    Elijah gulps as well. He's a big nurser all day long so why wouldn't he be at night too you know?

    Anyway, you are strong and if you continue it will probably get better. I couldn't ever get Elijah to sleep. At all. He just screamed for hours. He never just fell to sleep with the method. It was becoming traumatic for us both and I think in my case (because he never fell asleep at all) abuse. At least the entire neighborhood probably thought so!

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  3. So glad to hear that he fell asleep on his own a couple of times. That is such a good sign. Baby steps, right? You do what you feel is best for both of you, only you can make that call!

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  4. I think you are doing great and going towards the right direction!

    here are some things i found helped with Lily. keep in mind she too was/is strictly a breastfed baby, never took to the bottle.

    when i started weaning her off her night feedings, i weaned 1 at a time. this worked well.
    basically the first time she would cry, i wouldn't breast feed, i would just soothe her. sometimes she would just go back to sleep, sometimes she would have to cry it out a bit.
    now, i don't breast feed at night anymore. only at 6am when she wakes. i then bring her to bed with us and she falls back asleep for another 1-2 hours.

    i do giver her a BIG dinner (i stuff her) before she goes to bed at night.

    not sleeping with Wyatt is a huge step for you and i think it's awesome!

    their little bodies are used to getting up for feedings. it's not necessarily that they are hungry.
    so maybe try to wean the first feeding off, and then the second, and so on!

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  5. baby steps! You're getting there! I realize even now, that aidyns 3, when he is gone I sleep so much better! I need to get him sleeping in his own bed, but he wakes up with terrible nightmares and I feel so bad for him! I have to figure it out though!

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  6. Good for you! Every method has its exceptions. I did CIO, but, like you, I nursed. I didn't use CIO during the night. And during the day before I put them down for a nap, they'd always be nursed and changed and then if neither of those things worked, well, it was on to CIO. Hang in there - it gets better. And worse. But mostly better. LOL

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  7. thats basically the schedule i stuck with for a while..and now look at camdyn...sleeps 12+ hours a night..and never wakes up during it...mostly. you're getting there..and it will make you start to sleep a lot better sooner than later. i think you're doing a great job..and dont give up!!

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  8. I see you are having some sleep problem with Wyatt, It's so hard I am also having problems with my son Harper I just did a blog on what I am trying if you want to have a look I'll let you know how it goes. Love your photos he is sooooo cute

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  9. I'm new to your blog, but I love it.

    Not sure how old Wyatt is...but I think some babies have their own pace and will adapt to a sleep schedule at their own readiness. Screw what the books say, each baby is different :)

    You sound like a wonderful mom and you're doing your best for your family. I also think your "middle ground" approach - something you can live with most importantly - is a great idea. Lots of families (including us) adapt ferber and it works just as well.

    FWIW, We're a ferber family, and I hate him so much there are no words :). After the first night we ferbered, I felt sad (and tired) like someone had just died. We stuck with it and it seemed to work. I noticed each night got slightly less nightmarish. It took awhile though.

    But we fell off the wagon and now my 16 month old is a devout co-sleeper and refuses to sleep in his crib except for (brief) naps. I love it.

    I know we need to referber. But I'm enjoying the sleep and lack of screaming in my life...

    Luck to you - I think there should be special Ferber Angels that the universe sends to comfort mamas when they go through sleep training.

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