Tuesday, October 12, 2010

no more breastfeeding night 2

Night two of no breast feeding is underway. I'm really wondering how much milk I was actually making because I'm still not engorged... or even feeling "full" for that matter. Isn't that weird? Or is it still too early? Anyway, that's not even what I'm here to talk about...

I WANT TO SHOOT MYSELF IN THE FACE 5 TIMES AFTER DEALING WITH WYATT LAST NIGHT.

Holy freaking crap. Wyatt literally woke up crying/screaming every half an hour to 1 hour. IT WAS BRUTAL. I feel sort of guilty about how I acted last night. I was angry and I raised my voice a few times. So dumb. I won't do that again. I was pretty much losing my mind from sleep deprivation and I have a very low tolerance for loud noises. I'm terrible. I felt so badly about it that I prayed about it today. SERENITY NOW. I tried everything to get him back to sleep. I would hold him, rock him, bring him into bed with me... nothing really worked. I would just have to lean over his crib and rub and pat his little head until he finally gave in. But 5 minutes of screaming at 3 am feels like an hour... it's weird.

So tonight I don't know what I'm going to do. I feel like I just need to leave him to figure it out, because he's never going to stop waking up if I always go to him in the middle of the night. I know a lot of you hate the "cry it out" method, but for those of you that are all about it, could you give me some re-assurance? I think it's probably the best way to deal with this.

(cute pic of wyatt since this is what you all came for anyway) :)

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