Friday, December 2, 2011

Radvent 12.1- Challenging

I've been really itching to do some real journaling/blogging on my blog and I discovered an easier way for me to do that. I saw on The Curious Pug's blog today that she's participating in Radvent 2011 and I got really excited to see topics that will make me think and reflect. So here goes...

What is challenging you the most right now? And how can you be grateful for it?

Honestly, I feel challenged everyday to not be a feminist bitch. I really have this feeling of self-entitlement that I never really knew I'd feel being a stay at home mom. Even though Josh and I discussed the terms of me staying home (I'd be responsible for most of the housework and normal day to day maintenance on Wyatt since Josh is of course working), I always feel like why does it have to be me that does these things? And yes, it's very whiney of me and I should just get over it. But I really hate how because I'm the woman it's subconsciously assumed that I'd be the one to handle things. I'm trying to learn to be grateful that I'm the homemaker. Because of it, I get to spend so much time with our son and I've learned all the ins and outs of his personality. I know that one day I'm not going to think about how no one does the dishes but me- but instead I'll think about how I got to cuddle and kiss my son as much as he'd let me. Staying home and being a homemaker is just a really hard pill to swallow for me.

Reflect on one challenging thing in the past year that you kicked butt at. What would you have told yourself?

I'm pretty proud of teaching myself to really run. I can now run 4 miles without stopping to walk once, and that to me is such a feat! When I very first started, I couldn't even run .2 miles without stopping to walk. I'd seriously walk every minute or so. It was really sad and totally discouraging! But for some reason I just kept at it and now I can just power through! If present Jess could talk to past Jess, she'd probably tell her to obviously just keep at it. I guess that's pretty obvious, but I'm pretty sure past Jess wouldn't care and would still feel like dying from exhaustion. 

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