Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Finally coming to a close.

I don't blog much about my husband being in the Air Force because honestly I try to not make it my life like a lot of military wives do. I think it's because I can see how unhappy my husband is in the military. If I felt like he was actually excited and eager to be a service member, I'd probably be all about the military. But in reality, we're extremely unhappy and have literally counted down the days for it to be over just a few months after this picture was taken at Josh's basic training graduation. 

I know we don't have it as bad as some, but there's still no way getting over being separated from your loved ones for any period of time. Josh has been deployed twice for 7-8 months at a time. Once while I was pregnant with our son (and he was able to make it back for the birth), and the other time when Wyatt was only 7 months old, which made him miss a whole bunch of things, including pretty much all the early milestones - rolling, crawling, and walking. Side note, I don't even cry now knowing that he can deploy. I guess I'm just used to being separated.

I'm not really here to complain. We knew that going into this that there would be sacrifices, but there were things that we weren't expecting. I guess I feel like it'd be disrespectful to get TOO into it here since there are so many people with wonderful and prideful military experiences. I'm happy for those people, because they're probably feeling so fulfilled. Like their actually truly serving their country. 

Josh is getting out in a few short months and things have been pretty stressful just trying to get our ducks in a row. What will we do once we're not getting that nice little financial safety cushion? Where will we live? What about jobs? They seem to be really hard to find, especially for those without college education (like us- Josh has some credits though, but he's not nearly finished). And speaking of school, Josh still has his GI Bill to use, how will that work? Him being a student and all.

Anyway, I just wanted to share with you all that my life, our life, is about to change again. Even though things look scary now, we're SO ready and willing for this change because it means freedom. I don't know if non-military members GET what that means. There really is no freedom in the military. It's something I literally took for granted and didn't realize how important it was to me and my family before the military. The military gives this false sense of security, making you depend on them, and in my opinion it keeps you lured in, because you think you can't live without it.

I'm also happy about no more deployments. Josh's career field is highly deployable. He deploys every 7 months, and he's deployed for 7 or so months at a time. It's a constant cycle of coming in and out of the country. It sucks, but it is a part of his job. I know that. But I'm ready for that job to be over. 

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