Monday, January 9, 2012

Josh is the favorite.


My worst nightmare happened a couple of nights ago.

When Josh and I went to go pick up Wyatt from Sam's house after our night out, I stood at the door just waiting for him to turn to me and scream "YAY!" and run to me. I stood there. Waited. He saw me and started babbling about Wall-e on the TV. And then Josh walks in behind me and Wyatt's face gleamed and he screamed "DADDY!!!" and literally ran AROUND ME to his father. WHAT THE EFFFF?!?#@%$@^?#$^?!#$?%^@#?$%@#$%?#@$%#@?%$ What is this BS?! I guess it's terrible to admit this, but it's so true - I want to be Wyatt's favorite. I feel like I deserve it. 

I spent the whole night being paranoid that Wyatt didn't like me anymore. I talked it over with Josh, as he sat on the couch, mentally begging Jesus to please shut me up. He assured me that Wyatt still loves me and that he probably just sees Josh as the "fun" one. That didn't really make me feel better. The fun one? What am I? The torturous one? The terrible one? The MOM one? UGH.

I'm not really looking for an answer here because I think this sort of thing is organic and just happens naturally... but I guess I just thought it would never happen to me. Wyatt has of course snuggled with me for the past few days and everything is fine... but I'm onto him. Operation make Josh the bad guy is in effect (KIDDING!).

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