Friday, May 25, 2012

Husband Interview Questions.

  1. What was your first impression of me? Wild and uh, nosy.
  2. How accurate do you now think it was? On which counts do you think you were totally wrong and on which were you right? Pretty accurate. Except for the nosy part. You're still pretty wild. You always have to be doing something. You enjoy a lot of spontaneous things.
  3. What is your idea of a truly romantic evening? Just me and you, small time stuff. Nothing big. Something like going to the beach at night, or somewhere low-key where we can talk and build up a little bit of sexual tension. Then have sex.
  4. If I promise not to get upset, can you tell me something that you’d like to change in me but don’t have the nerve to tell me? You already know everything. We're pretty open.
  5. If you weren’t in the profession you are, what would be your other dream profession and why? I would be an artist because I really like art. I can't draw. Or understand it. 
  6. Apart from the most obvious one, which other two areas of your body are the most sensitive and responsive? My neck and my back.
  7. Which three parts of my body are your personal favourites and why? Your ass, your face, and uh, your lips.
  8. Can you name three qualities that attracted you when you met me/got to know me? Your butt, your personality, you're really cool and laughed at all my jokes. You laugh a lot. 
  9. Which is your dream destination and why? Arizona, because it's awesome and cheap. A lot of fun.
  10. Which is your favourite movie of all time and favourite scene in it? (If the other hasn’t seen it, narrate in detail.) Fight Club, the whole plane scene. 
  11. Which fruit/vegetable do you think I resemble and why? Obvious answer, a pear.
  12. Can you remember your earliest childhood memory of happiness and that of fear? Probably when I had this purple car thing that you push with your feet. It was pretty cool. Fear? Probably when I had my eyebrow busted open in the bathroom.
  13. Your favourite aunt/uncle/cousin and why? Uncle Todd, 'cause he's always been there for me. We've always gotten along.
  14. What are the qualities that draw you to people that you can base a friendship on? If they can take sarcasm, if they're very logical, and those that like to have fun but in a simple way.
  15. Can you give me a mock session of how you would discuss sex education when you have a child? Uh, that's gonna suck. I'll tell him men and women are primal beings capable of love, and uh, sometimes it's a great thing and sometimes it's very dumb. Most of our decisions with sexual acts are based off of not a lot of thought. 
  16. Your first crush – what drew you to her/him? In first grade, Nicole Kinzer. She used to always kiss me. We used to call her Nicole Kisser.
  17. Your first date – where did you go, what did you do and how long did the relationship last? What was her name? I think it was Madeline, she was taller than me, we went to a church. It was an awkward experience. It lasted about a month.
  18. How have you coped with break-ups in the past? Before you I didn't really care. I'd just skateboard or play games. Continue to have fun. I never talked trash about anybody.
  19. What has been your scariest dream? Which has been your most frequently recurring one? My scariest dream was when I was a kid. I used to dream that aliens were abducting me and I was naked in the desert. I used to dream that a lot and I still remember them today.
  20. Which has been the best decision you ever made? The best decision ever? Getting married.
  21. Which is the decision you regret the most? Security Forces in the Air Force. 
  22. Can you narrate to me your proudest moment? It was between finding out you were pregnant, and then the actual moment you gave birth. 
  23. If you won the lottery, what are the first three things you would do and which are the five things you’ve been most longing for, that you would buy? 1. Buy us a house, 2. Put a lot of it in savings and CDs, 3. Pay off a bunch of family member's mortgages. The 5 things I'd most long for, 1. A house, 2. A Jeep, 3. Awesome interior for the house, I want it to be really cool looking inside, 4. An awesome gym, and 5. as many blue ray movies I could possibly buy.
  24. If your house was on fire and you had a chance to grab only five things before leaving, they would be… Wife and kid, I'd grab clothes to wear, my bike, my hat, and my wallet and my keys.
  25. If you were asked whom you would like to be born again as, the answer would be… myself.
  26. Which is your favourite flavour of ice cream, your favourite junk food and your favourite dessert? Favorite ice cream is chocolate chip cookie dough, favorite junk food is bean and cheese burritos, and favorite dessert is apple crisp with vanilla ice cream on top.
  27. Whose wardrobe would you most like to possess and why? Probably anything from the Gap.
  28. The one argument your parents had, that you would try and avoid with your partner, would be over… I would try to avoid arguing over divorce related anything
  29. Which is your favourite asset/body part on a man/woman and why? The mind.
  30. The most embarrassing thing that ever happened to you was… Being caught jerking off by my wife, and in 3rd grade I crapped my pants horribly and I tried to tell everyone it was manure that I fell in.
  31. Your most wicked fantasy has got to be… (Be open to this one, if you react adversely, he/she will never feel free to confide in you again.) To be able to come up a million dollar scam and get away with it.
  32. If our relationship doesn’t work out, do you think we can remain friends? If no, why not? No, too awkward and I'd probably be mad. 
  33. Who are you closer to – your mum/dad - and why? I love them the same.
  34. Your favourite song of all times and why – is it because of the lyrics, because of the memories associated with it or just the whole package? Green Grass by Tom Waits. The lyrics are awesome. 
  35. If somebody handed you a magic lamp and gave you three wishes, what would they be? To be as rich as I wanted as often as I wanted, telekinesis, and and have hair on my head. 
  36. What upsets you most in a relationship and what makes you the happiest? The happiest thing in a relationship to me is affection, the worst thing in a relationship to me is misunderstanding and difficulty communicating. 
  37. What is your perception of how people see you? Boring and uh, sarcastic, and simple.
  38. If someone told you they saw me with another guy, what would your first reaction be – she’s cheating on me, he’s probably an old friend or I need to get to the bottom of this? I need to get to the bottom of this.
  39. Can you think of something you craved for when you were young and were denied? Money.
  40. Have you ever found yourself attracted to someone of the same sex? No.

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