Thursday, November 1, 2012

Costume insecurity - #NaBloPoMo

In my usual Halloween fashion, I tend to NOT buy a costume and put forth ZERO effort. It's just the last thing from my mind, every single year... and yet, EVERY SINGLE YEAR I feel pissed at myself for not buying a damn costume. This is kinda bad for a person like me because I can be a bit competitive, and then when I realize that my costume obviously sucks, I feel insecure. When I feel insecure it gets me down and moody, and then I become a genuine psycho. Quite honestly, I feel sorry for the people in my personal life. I am a legitimate crazy person. 

This year my friend Maryam dressed up like Frida and I thought it was genius! Yes, I've seen it done before but I didn't have enough brains to think of it, so I texted her and asked her how much of a douche-canoe would I be if I just flat out COPIED? She laughed at me and said she didn't care and to go for it, since it is after all the easiest costume on earth (do you have eyeliner? Fill in a uni-brow. BAM. Instant costume.) But I just felt so stupid. I copied. Ugh. I can't handle it. Even if no one knew, I did and I felt so lame.

I wiped everything off and then I felt sorry for myself because I didn't have a well thought out costume. My best friend was a mime, my sister in law had an insanely detailed sugar skull face, my sister back home also did an amazing sugar skull face, my kid was a pirate, and my nephew was a pretty convincing Heath Ledger rendition of the Joker. I mean... the pressure. Am I really THIS shallow? Yes. 

My husband looked at me and was like, "What is your problem?!" and he had a perfectly good reason to ask because at this point I was sitting in the chair (in the corner of course) with a snarl. I'm letting you all in on a big time not so secret- I really AM crazy.

Eventually I made my way to the upstairs bathroom and half assed some sort of triangle design on my face with eyeliner and some lipstick and called it good. Whatever. My kid liked it and that seemed to satisfy me a little bit. My husband said, "At least it's something..." which also made me feel a little stupid, but really, come on. What the hell is wrong with me? Even as I type this I feel a little bit insane for making this non-issue so huge in my head.

Welcome to my special insanity of tearing myself apart.

NaBloPoMo November 2012

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